I couldn’t sleep last night. I didn’t know why, and as I lay in bed I began to feel anxious, jittery. I told myself maybe it was the general angst energy all day hearing, over and over, that a police brutality video was going to be shown.

I must have drifted off about 4 a.m. and when I woke it was after 9 this morning. I sat up and as I reached for my phone (my morning email routine) I saw two capsules on my nightstand. Realization: I had not taken my evening medications.

This is absolutely a first. But it’s one more “old lady” thing in an ever-growing list of events. Every day I misplace things or can’t find something that ten minutes later, suddenly appears right in front of me. I toss things I later discover I need.

My daughter says to me, “Mom! You’re 80! Give yourself a break!” It just doesn’t feel right, or that this is really me.

So today I am taking a break from my usual frenetic race to “get things done.” Each evening I assess what was accomplished and whether or not I had a “productive” day. Most days are pretty good.

I heard myself echoing my dad this morning. I remember when he was in his 80s he would go out to move his irrigation system. It was a heavy contraption, and I would ask him, “Why are you doing this? You don’t have to do that!” And he would answer, “I’ve got to make a living.”

And that’s what I heard myself say this morning. And it’s why I created this website and the downloads and the videos. I’ve got to “make a living.”

I hope you enjoy what I do.